When Their Love Language is Gifts

I’ll admit it upfront: my love languages are quality time and physical touch. So my ideal afternoon is probably holding hands and having a completely unnecessary—but deeply important—conversation about whether aliens have emotions... or what foods could successfully be turned into tacos. (The list is longer than you’d think.)

Receiving gifts? It’s actually pretty low on my list.

But I know plenty of people whose love language is gifts, and it’s made me think differently about gift giving as a love language. And if that’s your spouse, best friend, sibling, parent, or child, you may have found yourself wondering: How do I make them feel loved when this isn’t naturally how I express it?

The good news? It isn’t about becoming a better shopper.

It’s about becoming a better observer.

People whose love language is gifts usually aren’t keeping score or hoping for expensive surprises. They’re looking for something much sweeter: evidence that you know them. That you noticed. That you remembered.

Maybe it’s the handmade mug in their favorite colors because they always drink tea before bed. Maybe it’s the book by the author they casually mentioned months ago. Maybe it’s a cozy throw blanket gift because you know they’re happiest curled up on the porch with a cup of coffee—or because they’re always the one asking, “Does anyone have a blanket?”

The gift itself is only part of the story.

The meaning you attach to it is what makes it memorable.

Don’t skip the note

In my opinion, the note might be the most important part.

Take thirty extra seconds to tell them why you picked it:

“I saw this pattern and immediately thought of your house.”

“I wanted you to have something that felt like a hug when I’m not around.”

“I know you always steal the blanket from the couch, so I figured you deserved one of your own.”

Those few sentences transform an object into a keepsake.

That’s actually why we created our Gift Message Inspiration page—to help people turn meaningful gifts into gifts that make people feel truly seen. We wanted to make it easier to find the words when your heart knows what it wants to say, but your brain suddenly forgets how to write it. If you’ve ever stared at that little gift message box wondering, Now what?—you’re not alone.

Make it an experience

Who says gift giving has to be serious?

Hide it somewhere unexpected. Leave little clues around the house. Wrap it in an oversized box just for fun. Add a favorite snack, a handwritten recipe, or an old photograph.

Sometimes it’s not just the gift people remember.

It’s the smile they had while discovering it.

It’s not about spending more

I think people sometimes misunderstand this love language.

It’s easy to assume that someone who loves gifts wants more things.

I don’t think that’s it at all.

I think they want tangible reminders that someone knows who they are.

Honestly, that’s a pretty tall order.

Paying attention to what someone loves, what makes them laugh, what colors they gravitate toward, what little comments they make in passing… that’s real work. But it’s also one of the most generous things we can do for another person.

Whether your own love language is gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, or physical touch, loving someone often means learning to speak their language instead of your own.

So while I’ll still happily vote for holding hands and debating taco philosophy, I also love the idea that a thoughtfully chosen gift can say exactly the same thing:

“I see you.”

And sometimes, wrapped up in a throw they reach for again and again, that quiet reminder becomes the whole point.